Lots of Good Fun That Is Funny Morticia Addams

Here are the best Morticia Addams quotes that will charm you with her witty, dark humor and exquisite elegance!

Morticia Addams is the matriarch of The Addams Family, married to Gomez Addams, and a mother of five.

Her expertise in conjuring spells and hexes, and impeccable gothic fashion is the reason behind her rightful position as the head of the family.

She appeared in films, animated series, and musicals featuring the peculiar clan.

Check out the complete list below to know more about her or to revisit her famous lines!

Let's get started.

And make sure to read these Gomez Addams quotes and Wednesday Addams quotes.

Best Morticia Addams Quotes

1. "Black is such a happy color."

2. "Darling, I always wear black."

3. "You have enslaved him. You have placed Fester under some strange sexual spell. I respect that. But please, may we see him?"

4. "There's nothing more romantic than a dark, chill attic in a thunderstorm."

5. "Hearts are wild creatures; that's why our ribs are cages."

6. "Did I just hear a peal of thunder? That's the most heavenly sound."

7. "Wednesday's great-aunt Calpurnia. She was burned as a witch in 1706. They said she danced naked in the town square and enslaved the minister. But don't worry, we've told Wednesday: college first."

8. "Our lifeless bodies rotting together for all eternity."

9. "Wednesday, look at all of the other children, their freckles, their bright little eyes, their eager, friendly smiles. Help them."

10. "You are dearer to me than all the bats in all the caves in the world."

11. "I've been yours since that first day you carved my initials in your leg."

12. "When we're together, every night is Halloween."

13. "An open grave. It was my first funeral."

14. "And our credo: Sic gorgiamus allos subjectatos nunc. 'We gladly feast on those who would subdue us.' Not just pretty words."

15. "My major? Spells and hexes."

Iconic Morticia Addams Quotes

16. "Life's not all lovely thorns and singing vultures, you know."

17. "Oh Gomez, it's dark, it's depressing, it's desolate. It's a dream."

18. "Scream if you need anything."

19. "Darling, some people have a twisted sense of beauty."

20. "This morning when I woke up and the sky was all dark and cloudy, I knew right then and there that this was going to be a lovely day."

21. "In this weather? With all the blue sky and sunshine?"

22. "It's impossible that blondes have more fun."

23. "Don't torture yourself, Gomez. That's my job."

24. "Normal is an illusion. What is normal for the spider is chaos for the fly."

25. "I'm just like any modern woman trying to have it all. Loving husband, a family. It's just; I wish I had more time to seek out the dark forces and join their hellish crusade."

Funny Morticia Addams Quotes

26. "Flora, Fauna, how can I compete? You're twice the woman I am."

27. "It's so sweet. He looks just like a little entrée."

28. "Wednesday's at that very special age when a girl has only one thing on her mind."

29. "You have gone too far. You have married Fester, you have destroyed his spirit, you have taken him from us. All that I could forgive. But Debbie, pastels?"

30. "Marvelous news. I'm going to have a baby. Right now."

31. "Do you think that when a new baby arrives, one of the other children has to die?"

32. "Children, what are you doing?"

33. "Wednesday, play with your food!"

34. "Last night, you were unhinged. You were like some desperate, howling demon. You frightened me. Do it again!"

35. "Hush, Mama! It's for charity! Widows and orphans. We need more of them."

36. "Children, this is Miss Jellinsky, our new nanny. What do we say?"

37. "Our whole family together—at last, three generations—above ground."

38. "Salt, pepper, or cyanide?"

39. "You've had your shots? Measles, mumps, rabies?"

40. "All the important numbers: Police, Fire Department, Morgue."

41. "Oh, no. He lives."

42. "To think, a child of mine!"

43. "What glorious evening. Rain."

44. "How delightfully tragic!"

45. "Thing, you're a handful."

Morticia Addams Quotes About Gomez

46. "A day alone, only that would be death."

47. "When we first met years ago, it was an evening much like this. Magic in the air."

48. "Gomez, take those out of his mouth."

49. "About the séance tonight, I wish you'd come. It's Gomez I'm terribly worried about. He won't eat, he can't sleep, he keeps coughing up blood."

50. "Gomez, why don't we go for a drive? The whole family."

51. "My baby is ill, and my husband is dying. Oh, Mama, what shall I do?"

52. "So, you still desire me after all these years? The old ball and chain?"

53. "Adieu, mon cher."

More Morticia Addams Quotes

54. "It has to be damp."

55. "One house, three children, so many windows."

56. "Oh, no. Just you."

57. "Children, do you think we love the baby more than we love you?"

58. "Why wait?"

59. "No, thank you. But do ask the children."

60. "But we're late for the charity auction."

61. "Uncle Niknak's winter wardrobe. Uncle Niknak's summer wardrobe. Uncle Niknak."

62. "Dead Man's Curve."

63. "That ring!"

64. "Well, not like he used to."

65. "Children, we're starting. Put down that antenna."

66. "I know it is wet, and the sun is not sunny. But we can have lots of good fun, that is funny."

67. "Gomez. Sun. Il me perce comme un poignard."

68. "Your turn, my ecstasy."

69. "You've done this before."

70. "There it is. Just what we've been searching for. Thank you, Thing."

1. "Darling, I always wear black."

Darling I always wear black

2. "This morning when I woke up and the sky was all dark and cloudy, I knew right then and there that this was going to be a lovely day."

This morning when I woke up and the sky was all dark and cloudy, I knew right then and there that this was going to be a lovely day

3. "Life's not all lovely thorns and singing vultures, you know."

Morticia Addams Quotes - Life's not all lovely thorns and singing vultures, you know.

4. "There's nothing more romantic than a dark, chill attic in a thunderstorm."

There's nothing more romantic than a dark, chill attic in a thunderstorm

5. "Oh Gomez, it's dark it's depressing, it's desolate. It's a dream."

Morticia Addams Quotes - Oh Gomez, it's dark it's depressing, it's desolate. It's a dream.

6. "Scream if you need anything."

Scream if you need anything

7. "Hearts are wild creatures, that's why our ribs are cages."

Hearts are wild creatures, that's why our ribs are cages.

8. "Did I just hear a peal of thunder? That's the most heavenly sound."

Did I just hear a peal of thunder? That's the most heavenly sound

9. "Black is such a happy color."

Black is such a happy color.

10. "I loved her not for the way she danced with my angels but for the way the sound of her name could silence my demons."

(Technically, this is a Gomez quote, but since it's about Morticia we'll let it slide.)

I loved her not for the way she danced with my angels but for the way the sound of her name could silence my demons

11. "When we're together, every night is Halloween."

When we're together, every night is Halloween

12. "You are dearer to me than all the bats in all the caves in the world."

Morticia Addams Quotes - You are dearer to me than all the bats in all the caves in the world

13. "Normal is an illusion. What is normal for the spider is chaos for the fly."

Morticia Addams Quotes - Normal is an illusion. What is normal for the spider is chaos for the fly.

14. "In this weather? With all the blue sky and sunshine?"

In this weather? With all the blue sky and sunshine?

15. "It's impossible that blondes have more fun."

Morticia Quotes - It's impossible that blondes have more fun

16. "Don't torture yourself, Gomez. That's my job."

Don't torture yourself, Gomez. That's my job.

17. "That moment when you witness karma in its full glorious splendor."

Morticia Addams Quotes - That moment when you witness karma in its full glorious splendor

Quotes From Morticia Addams

Morticia Addams is witty, intelligent, and precise in her thoughts and words. Here are some Morticia Addams quotes that are sarcastically funny.

Witty Morticia Addams quotes from the movie 'The Addams Family'.

1."I'm just like any modern woman trying to have it all. Loving husband, a family. It's just. I wish I had more time to seek out the dark forces and join their hellish crusade."

-Morticia Addams.

2."You are dearer to me than all the bats in all the caves in the world."

-Morticia Addams.

3." Wednesday's at that very special age when a girl has only one thing on her mind."

-Morticia Addams.

4."Hearts are wild creatures, that's why our ribs are cages."

-Morticia Addams.

5."Oh, Gomez. It's dark, it's depressing, it's desolate."

-Morticia Addams.

6."Black is such a happy color."

-Morticia Addams.

7." Wednesday, look at all of the other children, their freckles, their bright little eyes, their eager, friendly smiles. Help them."

-Morticia Addams.

8."That moment when you witness karma in its full glorious splendor."

-Morticia Addams.

9."This morning when I woke up and the sky was all dark and cloudy, I knew right then and there that this was going to be a lovely day."

-Morticia Addams.

Funny Morticia Addams Quotes

Many consider Morticia Addams a witch because she can cast a spell with her satirical words. Below are some of the quotes that will make you fall in love with her.

10."Don't torture yourself, Gomez. That's my job."

-Morticia Addams.

11. "It's so sweet. He looks just like a little entrée."

-Morticia Addams.

12."Did I just hear a peal of thunder? That's the most heavenly sound."

-Morticia Addams.

13."One house, three children, so many windows."

-Morticia Addams.

14."Life's not all lovely thorns and singing vultures, you know."

-Morticia Addams.

15. " When we're together, every night is Halloween."

-Morticia Addams.

Addams Family Values Quotes

The movie, 'The Addams Family Values' is a hilarious sequel to 'The Addams Family'. Here are some hilarious Addams Family quotes from the film.

 Funny Addams Family Quotes from characters of 'The Addams Family Values' movie.

16."So I-I killed. So I maimed. So I destroyed one innocent life after another. Aren't I a human being? Don't I yearn, and ache, and shop? Don't I deserve love… and jewelry?"

-Debbie Jellinsky, 'The Addams Family Values'.

17." Uncle Fester Addams: Dementia! What a beautiful name!

Dementia: It means insanity.

Uncle Fester Addams: My name is Fester. It means to rot."

– 'The Addams Family Values'.

18."Sometimes, late at night…I remember how she used to turn to me and say, 'Jesus, Fester, go back to your room!'"

-Fester Addams,' The Addams Family Values'.

19."Now, one of you will be the drowning victim and the other one gets to be our lifesaver."

-Wednesday Addams,' The Addams Family Values'.

20." Joel Glicker: Wednesday, do you think that maybe someday you might want to get married and have kids?

Wednesday Addams: No."

– 'The Addams Family Values'.

Morticia And Gomez Addams Quotes

Gomez and Morticia Addams are a perfect couple who are deeply in love with each other. Here is some hilarious Gomez Addams quotes to Morticia Addams.

21." Gomez Addams: To live without you, only that would be torture.

Morticia Addams: A day alone, only that would be death."

-' The Addams Family'.

22." Morticia Addams: When we first met years ago, it was an evening much like this. Magic in the air. A boy.

Gomez Addams: A girl.

Morticia Addams: An open grave. It was my first funeral.

Gomez Addams: You were so beautiful. Pale and mysterious. No one even looked at the corpse."

-' The Addams Family'.

23." Gomez Addams: How long has it been since we've waltzed?

Morticia Addams: Oh, Gomez… hours."

-' The Addams Family'.

24."Morticia Addams: Gomez.

Gomez Addams: Querida?

Morticia Addams: Last night you were unhinged. You were like some desperate, howling demon. You frightened me. Do it again!"

-' The Addams Family'.

25."I loved her not for the way she danced with my angels but for the way the sound of her name could silence my demons."

-Gomez Addams,' The Addams Family'.

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